My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
