DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
