he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
