I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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