He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
