smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
