The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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