I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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