omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
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As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
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I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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