He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
