Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
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