About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
