What a fucking waste of an outfit
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
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