Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
and she was petting her beer can
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
