the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
You smell like stripper and shame
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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