feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
