We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
