How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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