im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Randomize