I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
im drinking this country out of the recession.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
