respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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