Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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