This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
there is another microwave in the elevator.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
