he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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