I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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