just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize