she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Let's get the cat blown out
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
