I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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