I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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