But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
