Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
