I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
