Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
