big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Randomize
