walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
