real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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