How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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