She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
