The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
