did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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