I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
he puts the penis in happiness.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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