I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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