He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
