yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
