Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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