true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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