I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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