Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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