the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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