omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
do herpes really smell.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
