One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
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Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
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Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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