i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
