So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
