on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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