Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
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