We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
