So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Randomize
