I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
