i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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