please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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