I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
